You can’t be my “boyfriend” unless you abide by these rules:
- No public displays of affection. It makes me sick when other people do it so why would I want to be involved?
- No kissing on the cheek. It’s for pansies.
- No hand holding. What’s the point of it? Only to show the world you love each other. Well guess what? The world doesn’t give a shit.
- You’re allowed to wander off and talk to other people. I can’t control you and I wouldn’t want to even if I could.
- Don’t assume all girls always want to hear that they’re beautiful or gorgeous or that you really like them. Let’s get something straight. You picked me. Out of all the other girls you picked me. It’s pretty obvious you thought I was okay looking and you must not think I’m a complete and total bitch because, to reiterate, you picked me.
- YOU MUST BE GABE SAPORTA.
endrant.
